R. Kelly Trapped in the Closet - Recently Updated Pageshttp://trappedinthecloset.wetpaint.com/pageSearch/updatedRecently Updated Pages on http://trappedinthecloset.wetpaint.comen-usinfo@wetpaint.comTue, 24 Jun 2008 21:30:53 CDTTue, 24 Jun 2008 21:30:53 CDTwetpaint.com60R. Kelly Trapped in the Closethttp://image.wetpaint.com/image/1/ppM-17IToRX5mZfmo-o-wQ36481http://trappedinthecloset.wetpaint.comR. Kelly's hip hopera "Trapped in the Closet"Sylvesterhttp://trappedinthecloset.wetpaint.com/page/Sylvestergoocathttp://trappedinthecloset.wetpaint.com/page/Sylvesterfont size was too large on my updateTue, 24 Jun 2008 21:30:53 CDT
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ABOUT SYLVESTER



Played by: R. Kelly

Role in the Trapped storyline: ----Suave ladies man

Introduced in Chapter 1

9-to-5er: ----

Trademark look: suit

Personality: ---- Smooth, but street smart

Character's best moments: ----When he and Gwen were cracking up on the floor resolving their problems

Character's worst moments: ---- Fighting with the cop, James

Character's freakiest moments: ----When he cheated on his wife, Gwen.

Best "Oh, no he di'in't!" moments: ----When he finds out that Mary's real name was Cathy!
ABOUT R. KELLY

 DOB: 1-8-1967

Main credits: ----Writer & creator of TITC

Fun facts: ----A talented singer, songwriter, and a creative, musical genius!
  • Sylvester is Kells' middle name
  • Might believe he can fly



SYLVESTER'S BEST LINES
  • You must be crazier than a fish with titties if you think I'm gonna let you smoke that!
  • S**t, think, s**t think, s**t think, s**t. Quick put me in the closet!






CHARACTER CONNECTIONS
COMMITTED TO
Gwendolyn
Relationship status: They're married.

ON THE SIDE
Cathy
How they met: We don't know, but we discover that Cathy paid him to come home with her
Relationship status: Are they having an affair, or is it just a business arrangement?
 MAIN RIVAL/ENEMY
James
How they met: When James stops him for a moving violation
Relationship status: James is having an affair with Gwendolyn
Rufus
How they know each other: Rufus is Cathy's cuckolded husband.

OTHER CONNECTIONS
Twan
How they met: Twan is Gwendolyn's brother
Relationship status: Twan's got Sylvester's back in all dealings.
Joey
How they met: Joey and Sylvester's father knew each other in prison. Sylvester wants Joey to do the deal with him.
Relationship status: They don't appear to trust each other, but "honor among thieves" seems to be the rule they will relate by.




]]>Narratorhttp://trappedinthecloset.wetpaint.com/page/Narratorgoocathttp://trappedinthecloset.wetpaint.com/page/Narrator2 fun facts, 1 best lineTue, 24 Jun 2008 21:19:19 CDT
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Help build out the baddest Trapped in the Closet character pages by clicking EasyEdit above.

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ABOUT THE NARRATOR



Played by: R. Kelly

Role in the Trapped storyline: The narrator

Introduced in Chapter 8

Trademark look: All black or all white suit with big diamond earrings and a cigar
ABOUT R. KELLY

 DOB: 1-8-1967

Main credits: ----

Fun facts: ----
  • Redefined rating systems with his revolutionary 5-point system for rating Hair Braids in 2008. (seriously, it's "lookin like SPAGHETTI!")
  • Never believed he could literally fly



NARRATOR'S BEST LINES
  • Oh shit!

  •











]]>Trapped in the Closet Lyricshttp://trappedinthecloset.wetpaint.com/page/Trapped+in+the+Closet+Lyricsrjtii4uhttp://trappedinthecloset.wetpaint.com/page/Trapped+in+the+Closet+Lyricssaw a typo just fixed itSat, 21 Jun 2008 02:28:23 CDT(Chapter 1)

Seven o'clock in the morning
And the rays from the sun wakes me
I'm stretchin' and yawnin'
In a bed that don't belong to me
And a voice yells, "Good morning, darlin", from the bathroom
Then she comes out and kisses me
And to my surprise, she ain't you

Now I've got this dumb look on my face
Like, what have I done?
How could I be so stupid to be have laid here til the morning sun?
Must of lost the track of time
Oh, what was on my mind?
From the club, went to her home
Didn't plan to stay that long

Here I am, quickly tryin' to put on my clothes
Searching for my car keys
Tryin' to get on up out the door
Then she streched her hands in front of it
Said, "You can't go this way"
Looked at her, like she was crazy
Said, "Woman move out my way"
Said, "I got a wife at home"
She said, "Please don't go out there"
"Lady, I've got to get home"
She said, her husband was comin' up the stairs

"Shh, shh, quiet
Hurry up and get in the closet"
She said, "Don't you make a sound
Or some shit is going down"
I said, "Why don't I just go out the window?"
"Yes, except for one thing, we on the 5th floor"
"S*** think, s*** think, s*** quick, put me in the closet"
And now I'm in this darkest closet, tryin' to figure out
Just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass up out this house

Then he walks in and yells, "I'm home"
She says, "Honey, I'm in the room"
He walks in there with a smile on his face
Sayin', "Honey, I've been missin' you"
She hops all over him
And says, "I've cooked and ran your bath water"
I'm tellin' you now, this girl's so good that she deserves an Oscar

Throws her in the bed
And start to snatchin' her clothes off
I'm in the closet, like man, what the f*** is going on?
You're not gonna believe it
But things get deeper as the story goes on
Next thing you know, a call comes through on my cell phone
I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate
But from the way he act, I could tell it was too late
He hopped up and said, "There's a mystery going on
And I'm gonna solve it"
And I'm like, "God please, don't let this man open this closet"

He walks in the bathroom
And looks behind the door
She says, "Baby, come back to bed"
He says, "B****, say no more"
He pulls back the shower curtain
While she's biting her nails
Then he walks back to the room
Right now, I'm sweating like hell
Checks under the bed
Then opens the dresser
He looks at the closet
I pull out my Beretta
He walks up to the closet
He comes up to the closet
Now he's at the closet
Now he's opening the closet...

(Chapter 2)


Well...
Now he's staring at me like
As if he was starin in a mirror
She yells honey let me explain
He says you don't have to go no further
I can clearly see what's goin on
Behind my back, in my bed, in my home
Then I said wait a minute now hold on
I said mister we can work this out
She said honey don't lose control
Tried to get him to calm down
He said ho I should've known
That you would go and do some bogus s*** up in my house
But the Christian in me gave you the benefit of the doubt
I said we need to resolve this
Then he stepped to me, I'm like whoa
There's a reason I'm in this closet
He says, yeah like what, are you talkin clothes
I met this girl at the Paje's club
And she told me she didn't have a man
Then he said man please,
I'd kill you if you didn't have that gun in ya hand
And I said but your chick chose me
He said don't give me that mack s*** please
His phone goes off and then things get a little more interesting
He steps a little closer
I point my gun and says I'm not the one you after
He says somethin I bet you didn't know my man
Did she tell you that I was a pastor
I said well good that's betta right
Why can't we handle this Christian- like
And I started to put the gun down
Til I saw his face still had a frown
She started cryin, sayin baby I'm sorry
Then he said baby not as sorry as you're gonna be
I started inchin out
He says no I want you to see this
Said I gotta get out this house
He said not til I reveal my secret
I'm like what is goin on inside his head
Then he takes his phone and calls somebody up and says
Hello, Baby, turn the car around
Listen I just need for you to get right back here now (Click)
He looks at me and says well since we're all comin out the closet
I'm not about to be the only one that's broken hearted
She said what do you mean
And he said just wait and see
I said somebody betta talk to me
And then his phone rang
He picks up and somebody says sweetheart I'm downstairs
And he's like I'll buzz you up
I'm on the fifth floor, hurry take the stairs
And I'm like who is this mystery lady bit** you' talking to
He says in time you both will know the shockin truth
Baby this is something I been wanting to get off my chest for a long, long time
Then I said nigga Imma shoot you both if you don't say what's on ya mind
He said wait I hear somebody comin up the stairs
And I'm lookin on the door
He says I think you betta sit down in the chair
I says I'm gonna count to four
1, he says mister wait
2, she says please don't shoot
3, he says don't shoot me
4, she screams
Then a knock at the door, the guns in my hands
He opens the door, I can't believe it's a man


(Chapter 3)

Well...
Here we are. The four of us...
In total shock... Me and her.
I closed my mouth and swallowed spit,
And I'm thinking to myself, "This is some deeps***!"
And I said "So you're gonna tell me he's the one he's been talking to?"
He says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "It's the truth!"

I said, "All of ya'll ass is crazy, let me up out this door,
Because this is way more than I bargained for"
She says, "Wait, I'm sure we can all fix this"
Then I said, "I'm late, plus I ain't gotta damn thing to do with this!"
But then she said, "Wouldn't you just like to know how it all began?"
Then I thought to myself, and said, 'Quick, you got three minutes'
Then it got real quiet, I said, "Somebody start talking"

She said, "My God, Rufus! I've got just one question,
how could you do something like this? I'm so hurt!"
He looked at her and said, "Bitch please, you've got your nerves
With all your club hoppin', lyin' when you said you was shoppin'.
And now here you are in our home, and you're callin' me wrong."

She said, "Okay, you busted me! And that much I agree, you caught me cheating!
But this is a little extreme!"

He said, "You are my wife sleeping behind my back.
And now I come home and you got him in the closet, how extreme is that?!"
And she said, "But she's a he!"
And he said, "Please, you can't judge me"
She said, "But Rufus this is crazy!"
And I said, "Stop arguing!
I did not stay here to hear you chew each other out,
So get to the point, or I swear I'm out!"

"Excuse me, please, but I think I can explain what's going on in here.
My name is Chuck and I been knowing Rufus about a year,
At midnight creeping around with him has been a living hell, sneaking in and out of hotels..."
I said, "Brother, spare the details!"
Then Rufus said, "Chuck, please! Don't say nothing else!"
Then she screams, "Rufus you son of a b****,"
He says, "Cathy, go to hell!"
I said, "I thought you said your name was Mary, that what you said at the party.
Man this is gettin scary imma shoot somebody!"
Then Rufus start yelling and screaming saying, "Cathy, this is all your fault!"
She throws a pillow at him and says, "You were creeping too, the only difference is you didn't get caught!"
Chuck screamed out, "We're in love!"
Cathy says, "Love my ass!"
Rufus said they're getting married then I shoot one in the air!

I said, "Not annother one of you sons of bitches say a word!
Cuz all thiss*** I'm goin thru is unheard!"
I grabbed my cellular
I said, "This is so wrong,"
I call up my home,
And a man picks up the phone phone phone phone.....



(Chapter 4)

Now I'm dashin home
Doin 85
Swervin lane to lane
Wit fire in my eyes
I got a million thoughts
Runnin through my mind
I'm thinkin about what imma do and who I'm gonna do it to when I get home
How could I have been so blind
And then I look in my rear view
I cannot believe this
(Whoo whoo whoo)
Damn, here comes a police man
He drove right up on me and flashed his light
Then I pulled over without thinkin twice
He hopped out the car and walked over to me
And said license and registration please
I looked up at him and said
Officer, is there somethin wrong
He said no, except you were were doin 85 in a 60 mile zone
Then I said officer
Let me explain please
Ya see the truth of the matter is
Is that I have an emergency
He said no excuses
And no exception
I said this is some bull...as he gave me the ticket
Said have a nice day and walked away
I said yeah right and drove away
Then I turned my radio on
And did 55 all the way home
I pulled up in the driveway
Hopped out and slammed the car door
Then go in through the back
Bust up in the house, pull back the shower door
and she screamin
Whats all that for
Then I'm like woman I called this house
And a man picked up my phone
Then she said calm down
Did you forget
My brother Twan came home
Oh...
And thats all I could say was oh
Wit a stupid look on my face
Said I forgot he came home today
And she said thats okay
Because honey I understand
She said you don't have to explain
Then I took her by the hand
I kissed her and then we went to the room
Then I turned some music on
Apologized one more time
Then went down and start gettin it on
And she started bitin her lip
Grabbing me and makin noise
Now we makin love and she's my ear whisperin
It's all yours
I said I love you
And she said I love ya, too
Then a tear fell up out my eye
Then I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me
And said baby go deeper please
And thats when I start goin crazy
Like I was tryin to give her a baby
The room feel like its spinnin
We keep turnin and turnin
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes are curlin
The next thing ya know, she starts goin real wild
And starts screamin my name
Then I said baby, we must slow down
Before I bust a vessel in my brain
And she said please no don't stop
And I said I caught a cramp
And she said please keep on goin
I said my leg is about to crack
Then she cries out
Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax
And I said cool
Climax
Just let go of my leg
She says you're the perfect lover
I said I can't go no futher
Then I flip back the cover
Oh my God, a rubber...

(Chapter 5)

And now I'm like
Well, Well, Well
What the f*** is this?
A condom in my bed
You better start talkin b****
Before I take a match and burn this mother f***** down
I said "You better start talkin and start talkin right god damn now"
Then she said "Baby I'm so speechless"
Then I said "My baby you gon be breathless"
"If you don't start talkin quick!"
"Woman I'm gon have a fit!"
"You don't know what youf***** with"
"Girl you better cut the bulls***!"
Now it's obvious somebody has been all up in my home, in my bed
And plus I smell cigarettes
Now I'm sniffin and lookin around, I'm suspicious like someone's here
Then I look in her eyes and in her eyes was so much fear
Pull out my gun and said is he still here
She shook her head and said "No"
I'm checkin behind every door
She cried out "He left right after you called
I said "What thef*** was you thinkin; you thought that I wouldn't find this out"
Then I said "You must be crazy, you on crack to have someone off up in my mother f***** house"
She hopped up and said "That's enough"
She said "I can't take no more"
And the she said "You made your point, but now its time to even the score"
She said "I know all about last night"
"And where you went when you left the club"
She said "That's right nigga I was there with this guy in the back of the club"
I said "I thought you was with your girls"
She said "I thought you was with your guys"
She said "You was at that bitches house and don't you even try to act surprised"
I said "babe..."
She said "Shut up...don't you say a word"
"There aint nothing you can say that I aint already heard"
Then I said "Woman don't you try to turn it all around"
"Cuz the fact still remains that someone else was in my house"
Then she said "Your right about that, something did go down,
but I don't have to turn it around, cuz what goes around comes back around"
I'm movin a little closer to her
She's trippin over the furniture
She said "Wait first just let me explain"
I said "No need to just give me his name"
And the she says "Ahh...Ahh"
I say "Ahh what?"
She says "Please sit down in the chair"
And I say "No I'm standing up"
And then she cries out "I'm so scared to tell you, because of what you might do"
And I scream "Look girl you better give me this mans name and I'm not playin with you!"
She says "OK"
Wipes her nose and asks me about a girl name Tina
I thought to myself, said "Its sounds familiar"
Then said "I'll probably know her if I seen her"
Then I said "Anyway girl what the hell does that got to do with this man!?"
She said "He know my girl Roxanne"
I said "Who the hell is Roxanne!?"
Then she said "Roxanne is a friend of mine who know this guy named Chuck"
"Chucks cool with this guy named Rufus"
And I'm sitting there like what the f***
Then she says "Rufus wife Cathy, we both went to high school"
"She introduce me to"
"The policeman that stopped you"


Chapter 6

Belive it or not.
I just started laughing.
Shaking my head.
And just kept on laughing.
Thinking about all the things I had been through that day.
Then cries what why do you have that smile upon your face.
Then I laughed out said thinking about the things that I've been through.
She wipes her nose and she sniggles and laughs out I've been through it too.
Then I start laughing again.
And she start laughing more.
Then next thing you know we both are cracking up on the floor.
She laughs I can't believe this idiot really answered my phone.
Now meanwhile Twan just got out of prison and he's on his way home.
Then she laughs baby I'm sorry for all the lies and all the bullsh**.
Then I say girl just wait till I tell you all the drama that I've been dealing wit.
She laughs I wanna hear it all.
Then I laugh and say baby first of all.
I got a hangover, been trapped in the closet, slept wit who knows, threatened to kill a pastor.
She says what.
Baby this is no lie he had a lover turns out to be a gay guy.
She says damn you've been through a lot.
Plus I gotta ticket.
Meanwhile the policeman he turns around.
Just out of concern comes back to the house.
Then he pulls up in the driveway.
My cars parked crooked with the lights on.
Then he goes around the back way.
He hear the dogs barking like somethings wrong.
He gets to the backdoor and discover its been broken in.
He looks around, pulls his gun out, then proceeds in.
Meanwhile were laughing and laughing and laughing.
But from his perspective he thinks somebodies crying.
He gets closer to the bedroom and he would swear that somebody was coughing and sighing.
Meanwhile were in the bedroom laughing as I'm trying to continue to explain.
She yells out Sylvester your killing me.
Said I swear that it went that way.
Then next thing you know he bust up in the room said muthaf***a freeze.
And then I looked back up at him and said wait your that damn police.
Then she screams baby, I mean James she says everything is cool.
And then he yells Gwendolyn I got this.
I know your sick and tired off this fool.
Then I stood up start walking toward him screaming man get out my house.
Then he yells freeze she scream please and i pulled my barretta out.
She cried out Sylvester please don't.
Visions of him making love to her.
He said man put the gun on the floor.
I can't stop thinking about him and her.
I slowly put the gun and then I put my hands up.
He winked at me and smiled.
And that is when I went nuts.
Hopped all over him grabbed the gun.
She screaming settle down.
Going all around both handling the gun then all of a sudden POW.


Chapter 7

There's total silence, blood everywhere
And confusion on their faces as they continue to stare
Then Gwen starts shakin' and cryin' screamin' "What did you do?"
And then the policeman looks at me and screams "See, now I warned you."
Then he starts pacing the floor screamin' "God, what have we done here?!"
And she rushed to to door, blood on her hands screamin' "There goes your whole career."
Meanwhile, I'm freakin' out sayin' "We gotta do somethin' and gotta do somethin' quick."
Then he picks up the gun and says "I have a wife at home, I can't have no cause of this."
She says "James, I can't believe you just said what you said.
Cause that's not what you said when your ass was in my bed."
Then I said "Gettin' married later, but right now we gotta use our heads. First of all, did anybody check if the man was alive or dead."
Then he looks at her, she looks at me, I look at them and we look at him.
Meanwhile, Gwen's about to have a nervous breakdown the way she's shakin' and cryin'
And then she screams "You bastards! You've killed my brother."
And then I said "Gwen, wait a minute, I didnt..."
She says "No, you killed my brother."
She said "He just got out of prison. He's been through a lot. He was talking about changin' his life and everything and to come home and get shot
Then I said "Baby, it wasn't my fault. This man had a gun on me.
And besides, how was I to know that you was getting down with this crooked ass police."
And he says "Wait a minute..." I say "No, you wait a minute!"
And then I say "Man, this is my wife. We had a life until you butted up in it."
She cried out "Sylvester, now hold on. Even though he was in our home, let's not forget te fact that you was out there creepin' in another man's home."
*Cough cough* *cough cough*
Twan starts coughin'. *cough cough*
She says "Twan! Oh my god! Baby brother, are you okay ?"
He looks up at her and says "I'm not gonna die, at least not today."
And then he asks what happened and says "Why did I get shot?
Sylvester what is this policeman doin' here ?"
And I said "Go on, tell him cop."
He says "Son, we gotta get you to a hospital and take a look at that wound."
Twan says "No, I'm okay. It's just my shoulder. All I need is a bathroom."
Now five minutes has gone by and they tellin' Twan everything that happened
Twan says "F*** man, I would've been better off in prison."
And now somebody's banging at the door and I'm like "Oh no! Here we go again!"
Thinkin' out loud to myself sayin' "When is this sh** gonna end ?!"
Then Gwendolyn looks at me and says "Baby, you got that?" And I say "NO!"
She says "Why?" And i said "Because I'm not openin' up another motherf****n' door!"
And the cop says "Gwen, I'll get it." Then looks at me and says "Man of the house, my ass!"
Then I say "I'll get it, but whoever it is, I'm about to put their ass on blast!"
And then, the policeman grabbed me. I snatched away and got my gun up off the floor
Then Twan says "Man, that's what I'm talkin' about! Sylvester, point that sh** toward the door! "
Then he snatches the policeman's gun and says "Officer, arrest me later."
I count to three, Twan opened the door and it's Rose the nosy neighbor...
Ooh, with a spatula in her hand
Like that's gon do something against them guns
It's Rosy the nosy...whoa
Neighbor....


Chapter 8

The policeman gets in his car
And gets right on the phone
Backing up, shaking his head saying
"Let me get my crazy ass home"
And his wife picks up and says
"Darlin' where have you been,
i've been worried about you"
And he says "Police business, honey, I can't wait
to tell you what I've been going through"
She says "Are you okay?" "Yes"
"Do you need anything?" "No"
"Well, I baked you a pie" "Mmm"
"Your favorite: Cherry"
Then he said "I'll be there soon.
Sorry I kept you hanging"
Then she said, "Honey, don't worry about it
Just take your time, I still got some cleanin'"
Now meanwhile Misses Roseys back at Gwen's house
Tellin it all
She said "I knew there was something about that policeman
I started to cut lose my dog"
Gwendolyn looks at her and laughs and says
"Miss Rosey you are nuts"
And i say "all I wanted to know
was what was you gonna do with that spatula"
And then we all laughed
Tron says "shes a G no doubt"
Now lets head right back on over
To the policeman's house
He pulls up in the garage
She doesn't expect for him to come that soon
She rushed to the door
kisses him on the cheek and says "I was in the restroom"
Then he said "Whatcha say that for?"
And then she says "I don't know"
Then he step back, look at her and says
"Whatcha all jittery for?"
Then she says "Sweetheart, maybe it's that time of the month"
Then he says "Maybe? Maybe that time of the month?"
And then shes says "You know what I mean"
He says "I know what came out yo mouth"
He said that "you said maybe
Then she says baby," he walks in the house
She tries to lead him upstairs
But he goes straight to the kitchen
She says "Hun, I bought you some pears"
And then he said "I'ma heat this chicken"
Then she turns around thinking to herself
With this weird look on her face
Then he screams "Woman, what wrong witchu,
why are you walking back and forth, pacing?"
Before she answers she's thinkin' to herself
"What am I to say?"
Because the truth of the matter is
that she just slept with another man today
And he started calling her name
"Bridget, I know you her me"
But she can't turn around
Because the truth on her face
He will see it
Then he screams "Bridget"
"Yes""Look at me"
Bridget turns around and then he says
"Whatcha got up your sleeve?"
She's scared out of her mind
Stuttering and shaking and
still talking about some pears
He starts screaming saying
"Woman Im not going up no stairs"
Now he's got a funny feeling
Something just don't seem right
He's looking at her while she's backing up
Then he says "With all my might,
Woman, I swear I'll shoot somebody
if you been doing wrong"
But little does he know
somebody is still right there in his home


(Chapter 9)

He looks around the kitchen, and says 'something is really weird',
She says 'why do you say that?' He says 'cos you keep tryin' to get me outta here',
He says 'ever since I been in this house your face has went from white to red
and remember when I first walked through the door you acted like you had seen a ghost from the dead'

Then he says 'girl if you hidin' something i'm gonna be so mad', then he hears
something fallin he says ' what the fuck was that?'
She says ' it sound like it came from upstairs, sounds like the plumbing',
He said 'woman that sound did not come from upstairs, i'll be damned if you're not up to something,

The sound that i just heard, it came from this kitchen, and then he looks over by the stove
while shes easin' over by the dishes. and then he walks over to the refridgerator and pushes it back,
and then he looks in her face, looks like shes about to have a heart-attack, then he notices the pie on the counter
One slice is missing, now the stories gettin' scary, cos he comes to realise that Bridget is allergic to cherry.

Then he slowly looks up at her and now her face is red as hell, he's breathing real hard,
movin' closer, she says 'hon you don't look so well'
And then he says move
She says no
He says move
She says no
B**** MOVE!!! she moves, and then, he looks at the cabinet,
he walks to the cabinet, he's close to the cabinet, now he's opening the cabinet.
Now pause the movie cos what i'm about to say to ya'll is so damn twisted,
Not only is there a man in his cabinet, but the man... is a MIDGET!


Chapter 10

Now the midget jumps outta the cabinet and stomps the policemen on his toe
The policemen hoppin around on 1 leg screamin "son of b****" while he runs under the table
He yells ''freeze'' dives over the table and lands on the midget...while the midget is kickin
real fast screamin out bridget,bridget ,
*She yells darlin don't hurt em'*
He says bridget get yo' ass back...then he continue to ruff up the midget as if the midget was under attack...
Then bridget runs up to her room, goes in her purse and pulls a number out...
The police puts him on the table and yells "Man, what the hell you doin' in my house?!"
He whips cherry pie crust off his mouth and says man, i was paid not to tell you
Then the police pulls his gun out and yells trespassin man I got the right to shoot you..
The midget says mr. the man that payed me to this would kill me if i tell
He points the gun in his face, the midget say ''god i think i just sh**d on myself''
Now at Sylvester's house Twon gotta patch on his shoulder playin cards gettin alone
There laughing and talking when Sylvester says Gwendolyn, baby, get the phone
Then she walks away from the table picks it up and say "hello" there's a lady on the other line panic-n-
cryin and talkin all offf the wall,
Gwen says wait slow down, who am i talkin tooo
*My names bridget and i found your number in my husband's pocket, I had to call you*
2mins later Gwen shakin her head sayin girl i understand, Sylvester says who is it baby?
She hangs up and gives him the address,
Now meanwhile back at the policemen house the midget is cryin his ass off while he lyin threw his teeth bout
to get lil ass told off,
Then bridget bust in the kitchen with a double barrow sayin *james i can'tlet you do this Then he looks at her and says what? you shoot me for this f****n midget she says *I love him* The midget say No! bridget.
Then james points his gonna and says "we all gonna die up in this kitchen.
Now bridget and james stairin each other down slowly backin apart..then the midget takes his inhaler out
and says this is not good for my heart,
Then james says bridget don't make me do this baby put the gun down...thats when Sylvester and Twon
busted up in the house... and says you put the gun down..whoo while Twon & Sylvester are sniffen around...
tryina firgure out whats that smell...as they turn and look at each other liiiiiike whaaat the...heeellll.....?


Chapter 11

Now the midget begain to wake up cause he fainted from all the maddest...he see 3 guns pointed around the room he stand and says I have nothing to do
with this...,then I said hold up you look familler..do I know you from somewhere?,then he says man i get around..you might know my face from here or there
''Then james says take a good look cause you might not ever see his face again...''
Twon says man what the hell is that smell? s-nnn...somebody then broke wind!and then bridget start cryin while she lookin around,I said im sure we can
work this out but first lets put the guns down...then bridget crys
"james first" then he said no you go!,then I say just do it the sametime and they both look at me and said no!
And then Twon says man let me shoot'em all, ''and I said we can't do that'' and beside man you just got out of prison and i'll be damn if you going
back...then bridget says "I'll would drop the gun if he promise not to hurt ''big man'',then james says thats what you call-em- (ahh)thats his name big
man! then Twon says man is that ya' name?he yells yea!we laught hot mess, then I say man why they call you that?and said ''because im bless''...
Then I start shakin my head put the gun down sayin this is to much for me!said I cant take no' more then heard it all this sh** bout to drive me
crazy...and then I say man I shouldn't never took my ass to the par'jays club...
Then big man says par'jays..I been there that probally where you know me from,then james says hey hey Chuck and Rufus lets get back to the matter of
hand,then Sylvester says cool but first there just 1thing I gotta understand...james says ''whaaat''?,
Then Sylvester says how do you know Chuck and Rufus?and police says spss..what you talkin bout man?
You said Chuck and Rufus..then bridget says "hun my stomach" then Twon says who the hell is Chuck and Rufus?...pointed my gun and said talk to me
james..I said Rufus, Chuck? then bridget says "ima bout throw-up-"
James says my wife is sick..Twon says ''man don't believe that sh**''... I said how did ya' wife get sick?...
He says she 3months pernacy!then we all said ooo sh**!,
Then bridget says "honey thurrs something I have to tell ya",then james says no baby you don't have to say a word right now...then says "but
james"..then he says rest bridget while I get these fools up out my house...pointed the gun at us and yells leave...said my wife is sick..then Twon look
at him and said muthaf***a you crazy..watch where you point that sh**!...then bridget says "james nooo"...Sylvester gets a phone call...its Gwendolyn
askin him is everything ok...and he says hell naw! he hangs up.. then big man says look man im just a stripper... I say stripper?Twon says a midget... he
says I strip at this club called dixie and that is where I meet bridget...,Bridget says james he says not now..she says "hun please let me explain"...then
Twon whisper in my ear and says Sylvester let me do this nigga james...then Big man over hear us and takes his inhaler again..then I said im not killin no
cop...james movin closer to them with the gun..then bridget yellin stop,stop,stop and then she says "I admitted, I did it , I paid em'"...then james cuts
her off and says baby you don't have to say nothing...,then she says no "james I think you need to hear this"..."see I been coverin for you a long time..
never said what was on my mind...I even follow you a few times...and when I say you with her you act like I was blind"..james says wait a minute bridget
just what are you tryin tell me?..."not only im I sleepin with big man but hes my baby's daddy,...whoooo the midget faints again...while Twon in Sylvester
is trippin...the midget is the baby's.....daddy....whoo


Chapter 12

Now lets jump back to Cathy's house..they getting up off the floor...then Rufus says Chuck are you ok?
Then Cathy close the door..then Chucks says Rufus what the hell just happend?Rufus says I tell ya...
She just almost got us shot right here in this room...then Cathy says you got nerd almost got you shot when
you snicking en' and outta hotels with him aint tellin what I got...then Chucks says what do you mean by that?
Cathy looks at him and says firgure it out!...he says whooo Rufus she don't know me I'll would cut this b**** right now,Whoo!...Come and try it
muthaf***a...I swear! just try it...f*** you hoe!I swear just try it! let me at uh..
Come on b****!...try it..muthaf***a Rufus let me go!....I swear the god try it...''Come On'',try it, b**** come on...
Come the f**** down!Rufus says...Rufus says Chuck with talk bout later...then Cathy says this sh** is sad...
Then Rufus says it is what is Cathy we might'est well talk bout it...and try to get some understanding...she says understand sh**.. I dout it...they
talkin loud while phones ringin,ringin,ringin,ringin but no one answer.... just ignores it.. Rufus says I said come down...you both actin like damn
fools!..wife and a pastor and a deccan now how would that look in the news? Cathy says a wife and pastor looks good on the news..then looks at Chuck and
says but a pastor and a deccan Rufus you don't wont me to ansnwer you...at then Chuck yells b**** who do you think you are? I got a right to love who ever
I please...then Cathy says if you don't get yo narrow ass out my house cause hoe this who ever belongs to me...and then Rufus nobody going no where...til'
we firgure this out we all just be right here...and then Cathy and Chuck wont stop stairing at each other...Cathy snocks..her nose up and him..Chucks
rolls his eyes at her...then phones rings again..(ringin,ringin,ringin) but this time
Cathy walks over and answer it..says hello longs resident...Cathy this Gwendolyn can you talk? Cathy says
im in the middle of something not now... Gwendolyn says girl this can't wait please get somewhere quick to yourself right now...then Cathy says hurry im
listen shoot...Gwen says ok..I'll make it quick girl remember the policemen you introduce me to? she says yea...what uh bout em'? anyway girl sh** was tight
until this morning everthing went wrong! Chuck looks at Rufus and says what the hell? he says I don't know...she says damn'it im on the phone..
She says go hell Gwen...Gwen says well it all started at this club that I was at last night..(ummm) girl me and
james sittin up back vip everthing was so right (ummm gon' on)! well me and james sittin there laughten and drinkin next thing you know here comes
Sylvester up in there with some crusty wig wearing ass hoe...Cathy
looks at the wig on the floor she says girl whats the name of that club...Gwen says par'jays she flops down
on the bed...like what the f***? then Cathy says Gwendolyn...Gwendolyn says girl im not finish then she start
tellin her bout the policemen wife Bridget who was gettin down with this midget...then Cathy says Gwendolyn
girl listen but Gwendolyn going on and on she steady tryin get her tension but Gwen steady going on and on
Then Rufus scream Cathy are we gon' finiish this conversation or what?and Cathy says Rufus im on the phone
Then Rufus says ''b**** I don't give a f***''...then Cathy says Gwendolyn shut up girl damn..just listen to me
you know that crusty wearin hoe that you was talkin about...Gwen says uh uh..Cathy says well...Gwen says well..well what? Cathy says girl...Gwen says
Cathy...Cathy say Gwen im sorry girl but that hoe was me....


Chapter 13 (The lyrics to Chapters 13-22 aren't anywhere online, so I'm typing them all up on here myself)

Sylvester and Twan gets in the car Sylvester says "Man first of all, straighten your hat your hat.
Now man I'm ma go holla at somebody and I'm ma need you to watch my back"
Then Twan says "Man you ain't even gotta worry bout me, bro-law, I'm straight"
Sylvester says "Yeah you straight aight, with your hot head a** n**** just like when you coughed that case"
Twan says "Aww here we go, you bringing that sh** up, that wasn't sh** but a misdemener"
Sylvester says "Misdemener my a**, you did three years"
(Twan) "That's because of Roxanne and that b*** Tina"
(Sylvester) "Man, your sister asked me a Tina"
Twan said "When I see her I'm ma kill her. What did Gwen ask you?"
(Sylvester)"She asked me if I knew her, I said she sound familiar"
Sylvester said "Hold up, man wut chu doin?"
And then Twan says "Man wut chu mean?"
Then Sylvester says "Man is that a cigarette?
Twan said "Man naw this sum weed"
Sylvester pulled over sayin "Aww hell naw, n*** what the f***, you forget where we are?"
Twan said "One for the road?"
Sylvester says "You crazier than a fish with tities
If you think I'm ma let you smoke that sh** up in my car.
Now throw that sh** out"
Twan looks at Sylvester like he ain't tryin to hear that,
Sylvester says "Thow that sh** out!"
Twan looks around and say "Sh**" throws it out
They pull off and Sylvester says "Now this Roxanne and Tina man what's that all about?"

Now while they talk about that, lets head on over to Rosie the Nosie Neighbor's House
She's peaking out the window sayin "There's something goin on over there Bernadeen and Tedd"
Then her husband turns over and says "Woman what's wrong with you? Bring your 'ol nosie a** back to bed"
She says "Now Radndolf, I don't like that tone you're taking with me"
He says "Aww shut up woman, you always in folk business, gettin in folks dey privacy"
And Rosie says "I can look out my god damn window when ever I want"
Randolf says "Yeah?! Well what you lookin at? What you lookin at? Hmm?"
Now Rosie and Randolf are arguing, screaming at eachother as loud as they can
Rosie said "Randolf ain't nobody stunin you, so go on back to sleep with your 'ol grumpy a**"
Then Randolf said "Shut your a** up woman, sh**, folk gotta get some sleep around here"
The Rosie says "Sleep? Sh**, mister can't get it up, your tired ass been sleep for the last 5 years"
(Randolf) "Now watch you mouth woman"
(Rosie) "Go to hell Randolf, you don't tell me what to do"
(Randolf) ("Can't nobody tell you nothin")
(Rosie) "I'm a grown a** woman I can do what ever the hell I want to"
(Randolf) "Yeah!? Yeah!?" ...Well do it then?"
(Rosie) "I'm ma do it then"
(Randolf) "Do it then"
(Rosie) "I'm ma do it then"
(Randolf) "Go on look"
(Rosie) "I'm ma look"
(Randolf) "And I hope a pigeon fly by here and sh** on your face"
(Rosie)*Gasp!
(Randolf)"Oh lord forgive me for what I just said (This woman got some sh** goin on)"
(Rosie)"If it do? If it do...Then I'm gonna wipe the sh** on you!"

Now meanwhile, between while, back to Sylvester and Twan
They drivin along when Twan says "So man where we goin?"
Sylvester said "Man don't worry about that just be on the look and and Twan, your hat?"
(Twan) "Ohh my bad"
(Sylvester) "Give me a light"
(Sylvester) "Now when we pull up, you keep the car in drive and what ever you do, keep on watching"
(Twan) "Man like I said before, don't trip bro-law go handle yo business"
(Sylvester) "I'm about to see if I can get this b*** to talk to me, we made a deal and she owes me some money"
(Twan) "I feel ya G. So call me if you need me"
(Sylvester) "Man everything should go smooth"
(Twan) "Sylvester don't make me have to come up in there and smack me a couple of fools"
(Time goes by) 30 minutes later
(Time goes by) 45 minutes later
(Time goes by) and now one hour later....

CHAPTER 14

A car pulls up to a resturant the door opens and someone gets out
first thing you see is some heels and a dress, black shades on, scarf around her head and mouth,
Who could it be?
Why are they here?
up the stairs they goin', through the door down the aisle
like she's walking in slow motion
checkin out the place as she walks looking real cool
peeping out through her glasses before she sits in the booth
she goes in her purse pull a cigarette out
puts it in her mouth he lights it
then she blows smoke pause for a minute and says
(kathy) "what the hell happened"
(sylvester) first of all woman keep your voice down, I ain't tryin' to get loud up in here
second of all how was I 'posed to know that your husband
was a fu**in' queer
(kathy) "shh"
(sylvester) "clears throght"
The waitres walks by she says
(waitress) "I'll be with you all in a minute."
(sylyvester) "now we made a deal, the plan was for me to come home with you- girl i did my part"
so don't you go axin' me what the hell happened when I didn't wanna do this sh** from the start.
and then she said
(kathy) "yeah, right!" You didn't wanna do this sh** but your a** got paid."
and then she said
(kathy) "sylvester..."
I said
(sylvester) "hole' up bi*** are you crazy?"don't be sayin' my name"
she said
(kathy) "Whateva, how come you didn't tell me you was married to gwen?"
(sylvester) "first of all between the fake wigs and fake names how the hell I'm s'pose to know gwen was your friend bit** I don't.."
(kathy) "Shh", "here comes the waitres again"
(waitress) Sorry I kept y'all waiting, child this place is busy. It's alway crowded about this time can I start y'all off with something to drink?
I said
(sylvester)I just have a coffee with 2 sugars light on the cream
and she says
(kathy) vodka straight up, hell, sh** I need a drink
Then The waitress said
(waitress)girl I heard that, I'll be right back with your drinks
and then she walks away, I look back at her and says
(sylvester) she looks famillar to me
and she says
(kathy) what
I say)
(sylvester)nothing, it's just a thought. Anyway girl I thought the plan was for me to be in that house with you and get caught
she said
(kathy)it was
i said
(sylvester)what happened
she said
I changed my mind
I blew smoke and put my cigar out and said
(sylvester)I'm out this mother f***** cause you wastn' my time
she say
wait don't go
(sylvester) well then god dammit talk to me She said
(Kathy)you wouldn’t understand
(Sylvester)try me
(Kathy cries on key)
(Sylvester) Kathy,
(Kathy) yes?
(Sylvester) try me She blows her nose and says
(Kathy) well it all started one night when I was sitting in the living room and sounds like I could hear somebody in the bedroom moanin’ and groanin’. And I knew it wasn’t me so my curiosity lead me to believe that he was cheeting on me.
(Sylvester)well how come you didn’t just ask him, give him the benefit of the doubt?
(Kathy) because a woman knows, a woman just knows some sh** is foul. And then I said
(Sylvester) calm down, here comes the waitress.
(waitres) oooh like I said it’s busy around this time but thank y’all for being patient, so can I get you all anything else? I said
(Sylvester) no, that’ll be all Then Kathy says
(Kathy)Sylvester… he says
(Sylvester) hold on Cause he’s getting another phone call, it’s twan sayin’
(twan) everything a’ight Then Sylvester says
(Sylvester) we working it out And twan says
(twan) well call me if you need me dog you know I’m holding you down And I says
(Sylvester)no doubt I hang up then Kathy says
(Kathy)well anyway let me get back to telling you what went wrong, where was I, oh yeah the day I heard ‘em arguing on the phone.
Now the story goes on and on and she telling him everything happens while twans’ outside in the car radio on bobbing his head (twan in background ”boob boob boob”) just rappin’ sylevester says
(Sylvester) girl are you sayin’ he was having sex with another man on the phone She says
(Kathy) yes I say
(Sylvester) I can’t talk about this She says
(Kathy) why
(Sylvester)cuz this sh** is gettin’ uncomfortable Now back to twan he turns the radio down because he gets a call he says
(twan) yeah what up And a voice says
(street) yo T I got that information on Tina He says
(twan) talk to me dog
(street) well the word out on the street the b**** has stopped hoe’en doin’ hair outta mommas basement and got a job heh, heh, heh,
(twan)ha ha is right the day that b**** stop hoe’en is the day they stop sellin dobs
(street) heh heh
(twan) you feel me jo
(street) word
(twan) where the b**** work, at a candy store?
(street) naw the job that she got s’pose to be ligit I heard girl off on some ol’ waitress sh**
(twan) yeah waitress where
(street) hole on I’m waitin’ for my people to hit me Roxxanne aunte own the place
(twan) you sh**** me where this place at He says
(street)hole up I’m getting a phone call.
Now meanwhile sylevester is askin’ Kathy
(Sylvester) well why you still love him Then Kathy says
(Kathy) cause when I saw chuck I just couldn’t loose him to him
And then the waitress comes again but this time she brings the bill he slides her a fifty says
(Sylvester) keep the change She says
(waitress)damn, thanks, sh** y’all keep it real
And meanwhile outside in the car twans’ gettin’ impatient his homey comes back to the phone twan says
(twan) do I look like EnVouge He says
(street) why He says
(twan) nigga cuz the way you got me hold holdin on
(street) I got you dog I got where the b**** work, live information and all
(twan) yeah nigga I’m listening
(street) well nigga first of all, you gotta kick me down cause I went through a lot of crazy sh** to find her
(twan) yeah whatevea’ I got you
(street) moved in with some nigga at the Jeffery manor around the corner is a place called shey shey’s diner
(twan) nigga you forget I just did 3 years I need the exact address to where this place is
(street) my bad you right kid 9501 that right off haustit Pause it right there now shoot back into the resturant real quick. Sylvester looks up at the waisterss and says
(sylvester)excuse me but it seems like I know ya
and at the same time twans going in the car goin'
(twan) this address sounds familliar
meanwhile in the resturant the waitress blows a bubble and says
(waitress) where you know me from
twans hommie gives him the name of the place again he looks up at the sign and says
(twan) what the f***
and meanwhile back at in the resturant kathy's nudging me under the table going
(kathy) sylvester
then Sylvester looks up at the nametag on her shirt and notices that s*** says TINA
then the waitres starts backin up with this confused look on her face while twan's outside on the phone tellin' his hommie
(twan) man I'm right outside of the f***in' place
then Sylvester says
(sylvester) hole' up, I just wanna talk to you for a minute
then she starts screamin'
(Tina) Roxanne!! Roxanne!
roxannes name real loud and this bit** come runnin' from the back with a skillett then tina breaks a beer bottle on the table and says
(tina) nigga' I will cut you with this glass
kathy walks by me goin out the door sayin'
(kathy)not tryin' to get loud in here my a**
tina start walkin' around sylvester real slow sayin
(tina) we take tibo classes
then twan runs up in the place and says
(twan) I will kill both y'all knuckel head a**es a**es, a**es, a**es,a**es

(Chapter 15)

(twan) "well,well, well, if it aint Laverne and Shirley" tina says
(tina) "hey Twan" twan says
(twan)"Shh, bit** don't hey twan me" sylvester says
(sylvester) calm down T" he says
(twan)"f*** that I just did three years for these hoes" roxxanne said
(roxxanne)"who you callin' a hoe"he says
(twan)"you bit**"she lost controll and said
(roxxanne)"mutta fu***** I'll kill yo a**"
All talking over one another yeah this part was hard-the typist
(sylvester) "stop" "wait a minute" "lets talk about it" "before somebod befoe somebody get hurt T" "stop"
"wait a minute nigga think about it" "three years this time it be worse"
(roxxanne)"come on mutta fu****" "damn right" "jump nigga" "you better tell 'em'"
(twan) "what" "wit a skillet" "bit** I will" "man"" "fu** that" "three years"

(sylvester) "now come here" sylvester takes twan to the side, tina tells roxanne to
(tina) calm down" then sylvester says to twan
(sylvester)"look, now I know ya mad but before you go around here making threats, nigga lets not forget the fact that you out but your still on house arrest" then twan says
(twan) cool man I just wann ax them some questions about what happped" sylvester says
(sylvester)"I feel ya but calm your a** down or nigga you going back in" twan says
(twan) "i got you"
(sylvester) "house arrest"
(twan) "i got you, i got you"
(sylvester) "T, chill" then twan walks over to them and says
(twan) "how ya doin' ladies Tina, Roxxanne, please excuse me. I mean where's my manners cuz uh that was very rude of me.
(sylvester) "twan"
(twan)" no i admit the way I came up in here man it was kinda wild, but that aint sh** compared to the way things gone go" (sylvester overlaps)"twan!" "if these bit**** don't tell me what went down"
(tina cries) "TEE"
(roxxanne) chill your a** nigga
(sylvester)slow you roll calm down nigga stop this sh**
(roxxanne) "come on"
(twan) "sylvester, fu** that all because of these bit**** my a** got set up on a three-year bid
(roxxanne) "come on mutta fu****
(sylevetser) what cha gonna do nigga, kill these bit****
(twan)"yeah"
(sylester) "and then what? then what!, life nigga, they lock you a** up and throw away the key"
then twan starts thinking about it while tina and roxxanne's watching him, and I say
(sylvester)man forget about it" he says
(twan) "no" i say
(sylvester) "well let me talk to them" he say
(twan) "they slick a** man you can't trust them"
(sylevester) nigga it aint about me trustin' them it's about you trustin' me right now *sighs* nigga whats wrong with you are you crazy you forgot I did 5 years in the pen myself, now I'm telling you I'm not goin' back for you, these bit**** , an no mutta fu****body else, so let me talk to 'em, I got this." sylvester takes his gun out and shows it to the ladies walks up to them and says
(sylvester)"now ladies"he takes the cigarette outta roxxannes ear and says
(sylvester)ladies-,ladies,ladies,ladies," he walks over to the counter and sits down, he puts the gun down,goes into his pocket and pull a cigarette lighter out and then he lights the cigarette blows smoke and then says
(sylvester)now ladies, it's very obvious we that have a problem here, a lot of questions unanswered so lets answer them so we can get out of here, um, safe that is" he flicks ashes and says
(sylvester)"ok,which one of y'all gone start talking first?"then tina start crying sayin'
(tina) it was suppose to be a simple operation" and roxxanne said
(roxxanne) if we delivered mussel man here said it's would be a vacation" twan says
(twan)"man I'll show you a vacation"(sylevester butts in)"twan"(twan continues)"send your a** straight to the mutta fu*** moon"
(sylevester)"TWAN! what did I tell you? Ladies, continue"and then roxxane said
(roxxanne)on our way to atlanta eveything was going smooth up until twan starts smoking trees and acting like a fool, and thats real, got the radio loud bumping Mary Jane just swirving and sh**"
(sylvester)"did you tell him to stop?"
(roxxanne) "yeah I told him to stop but he just yelling talking about"
(twan told by roxxanne)"I'm rick James bit**"sylvester looks at twan, twan said
(twan)"man i was drunk" sylvester says
(sylvester)"drunk? you was drunk" twan said
(twan)"man i dunno i was just trying to have a little fun"
(sylvester)"with a whole lot of heat in the trunk? man I'm disscusted, nigga no wonder your a** got busted"
then twan says
(twan) "man who side are you on anyway theirs?" then sylvester says
(sylevester)well lets see wreckless endagerment,loud music with drugs in the trunk nigga yeah" twan said
(twan)"man this is some bull sh**" roxxanne says
(roxxanne)" can I finish?"
(sylvester) "please" sylvester says, she says
(roxxanne)"well to make a long story short" tina says
(tina) "roxxanne girl let me explaine, see twan was kinda acting wild and callin us all out our names then roxxanne starts cursing and screaming, meanwhile i'm in the back seat then all I know is I look behind me I say oh sh** here comes the police*"
(tina) "roxanne says"
(roxxanne) "next thing you know twan start speeding yelling out they aint gon' stop us" then tina says
(tina)"a few minutes later here come these squad cars and a fu**** helicopter" sylvester says
(sylvester)"did he stop then?" tina said
(tina)"no!" roxxanne says
(Roxxanne) but luckly that raggety a** car he was driving stopped on us (twan)"oh sh**"(roxxanne) or where we'd be who knows" then roxxanne says
(roxanne) anyway we are the three fu**** stooges laid out in the dirt now they puttin' us in the back of the car twan yellin' out
(twan)"whateva y'all do don't say a fu**** word" and now we at the police station they got us separated off up in these rooms yellin' all in our ear sayin your man twan said these drugs belong to you and I'm like
(roxxanne) what the fu**?" they say
(detective) sister your light is looking kinda dim"
(roxxanne)I looked up at tina and says "girl I'm not goin' down not for him" "so there you have it twan I gave you up, it was me" tina
(tina) "she protected you" twan said
(twan) "protected me for what" tina said
(tina) "cause at the time i was pregnate by you T"
(sylvester) coughs

(CHAPTER 16)

(sylvester) "mmm. I see" sylvester looks up at twan and says
(sylvester) "congratulations, man looks like you done had yourself a little T" twan says
(twan) no, no no, ha this girl is trippin' G" then tina says
(tina)trippin'?" roxxane says
(roxxanne)"man" then twan says
(twan) girl, wit you lyin' a**, tell me how do you know, (sylvester butts in) "TEE"
(twan) that the baby belongs to me?" then outta no where tina's eye start blinkin' real fast and she says to twan
(tina) how do I know twan" sylvester says
(sylvester) are you ok?"
(tina) how do I know?" Then roxxnne says
roxxanne) "girl I told you his a** was gone' deny this sh** when he saw you lets go" sylvester says
(sylvester) wait a minute" twan says
(twan)"bye" sylvester says
(sylvester) twan
(twan)"sh** see ya" they both pause, turned around tina looked at twan and says
(tina) in court mutta fu**** wouldn't wanna be ya" sylvester says
(sylvester) twan, ladies please wait a minute don't go yet" twan says
(twan) "they need to learn some respect" I say
(sylvester) twan!" he says
(twan) holla" roxxannne say
(roxxanne) nigga she gone' holla at that child support check" sylvester sayin'
(sylvester)nobody goin' nowhere, now y'all resolve this so we can put this sh** in the pass" then roxxanne says
(roxxanne) cool, we'll talk to you but we ain't got sh** to say to his ol' Shrek lookin' a**" twan say
(twan) "man who this fever blister looking bi*** think she talkin' to"
(sylvester) "TEE!"
(roxxanne) you mutta fu****" I say
(sylvester) "damn baby calm down" Roxxane says
(roxxanne) "what you gon' do?" tina starts to blink her eye again but this time even faster than before, and then she cries out real loud and says
(tina) I can't take this sh** no more" then sylvester asks roxannae
(sylvester) whats wrong with your girls' eye, it's like it keeps flinching" she says
(roxxanne) yeah yeah gold pimp hit her in the eye and ever since then she's got this nevous condition" then twan developes a soft spot and says
(twan) "sylvetser come here let me holla" twan pulls him to the side and says
(twan) "man what do you think?" he says
(sylvester) "what you mean?" he says
(twan) "man am I that baby's father" then sylvester says
(sylvester) I don't know it's hard to tell especially when you was in the pen, but is one thing I do believe in that is is that the bit** didn't turn you in" then twan starts walking around sayin'
(twan) "man I don't know nigga I'm feelin' kinda strange" then sylvester says
(sylvester)Gwen told me dog that you was thinkin' bout makin' a change" roxxanne yell out
(roxxanne) "I gotta lock this place up and y'all two gotta go" sylvester says
(sylvetser)what time do this place close?" she says
(roxxane) "eight" he pulls his gun and says
(sylvester)well act like it's a quarter to four" then he says
(sylvester) "talk to the girl twan it might be what you need" twan says
(twan) a family man me?, man I'm too deep in these streets" sylvester says
(sylvester)"man thats exactally my point this sh** will settle you down, you need to get up off of that bull sh** and go holla' at that girl right now" roxxanne lookin' crazy, I'm like
(sylvester) "GO" twan says
(twan) "sylvester man" I'm like
(sylvester) "GO" then roxxanne moves closer to tina, twan gimme 5 and says
(twan) fu** it joe" then he steps to tina and says
(twan)"tina you wanna work this out?" and roxaane tounge kissed tina dead in her mouth and says to twan
(roxxanne) I'm fu**in' her now!"

(CHAPTER 17)

(sylvester) *exhales sharply*
(twan) "yeah that's what I'm talking about bro-in-law, shoot 'em"
(sylvester) *exhales sharply*
(twan) "mann well let me..."
(sylvester) *exhales sharply*, shhh"
(sylvester)"y'all lucky I like that kinda sh** or I'd be done shot both y'all a**, come on twan lets get the fu** up outta here
(twan) wh. what you just gonna let 'em get away with this sh**?"
(sylvester) what, kissin', nigga come on... bring your a**"
(twan) "sh**" "fu** that, I'm go buy me a gun, and I'm gonna come back and set tis mutta fu**er off, yeah bit**es, be-lee dat
(sylvester) bring yo a** nigga!"
(twan) gimme my mutta fu**in' coat

(CHAPTER 18)

(twan) Man I can't believe these bit**es all the sh** i done been through and tina's a8* kissin that bit** OOH
(sylvester)man nigga calm your a** down thats just what your a** gets didn't I tell you not to go fu**in with these damn tricks
(twan) OH OH but you the one told me to holla at her
(sylvester) nigga all I was trying to do was make it better, you know stop the violence but who would'a ever thought that the bit** was dike'n HA, HA
(twan)oh I'm glad to know you having a good time and think this sh** is funny
(sylvester)bull sh** to the side nigga you better start talking to me about how to get this money
gwen calls but twan still cursing and talking loud gwen calls sylvester says
(sylvester) it's gwen man calm your voice doooown, helloo
static'n
(sylvester) gwendolyn?
phone is static'n
(sylvester) baby we gettin a bad connection
the phone still static'n g then gwen says
(gwen) can you hear me now?
(sylvester) noo
(gwen) can you hear me now
(sylvester) baby
(gwen) can you hear me now?
(sylvester) ok, I got you
gwen) good, now sylvester where you at I been wait'n on you
(sylvester)baby I'm on my way home to you
(gwen) movies or no
(sylvester) baby something came up then I got something else to do
(gwen) well mirna called
(sylvester)what did mama want
(gwen) same'ol thing just talking bout dale
(sylvester) what did daddy done did this time
(gwen) drinkin' and cursin' people out, she put his a** in jail
(sylvester) daddy be trippin' he think he big pimpin'
(gwen) well mirna say he touch her he gone be limpin' you know you peoples on the west side be trippin'
(sylvester)I'll see ya in a minute
(gwen) boy hurry up I'm cookin'
meanwhile at the church Rufus is getting his praise on with the reverend Moseley James says with the peace within the chior, oh they dancing, oh they shoutin' so many people been broken you gotta se the rest for yourself the doors to the church is open
(moseley) he will,
(chior) Jesus gone work it out
(moseley) work it out
chior) Jesus gone work it out
(Moseley) god will
chior & congragation) Jesus gone work it out
(moseley) work it out
chior & congragation) Jesus gone work it out
(moseley) James...
chior & congragation) Jesus gone work it out
(moseley) don't forget the offering
chior & congragation) Jesus gone work it out
(moseley) don't forget the offering
chior & congragation) Jesus gone work it out
(moseley) oh, then the second offering
chior & congragation) Jesus gone work it out
(moseley) Hey yeaaaah
chior & congragation) work it out
(moseley) didn't he, didn't he didn't he, work it out
chior & congragation) work it out (moseley) didn't he, didn't he didn't he, work it out chior & congragation) work it out (moseley) didn't he, didn't he didn't he, work it out
chior & congragation) why god will....work it out
(moseley)HEY! mom, my rent is due, HEY!
chior & congragation) work it out
(moseley) baby needs a new pair of shoes
chior & congragation) work it out
(moseley)turned it all over to him
chior & congragation) work it out
(moseley) why!!!! YEAH, Hey, good god almighty, how many of you all know that he worked it out
chior & congragation) YEAH!
(moseley) chior help me
chior & congragation) work it out
(moseley)hey, he done already did it
chior & congragation) foooor you hoo hoo
(moseley) heilejuah
then Rufus goes to his office and answers his phone, put his hand over the speaker told his assistant
(rufuss) "I need to be alone"
(background choir) work it out fooor you hoo hoo
he watches her as she
(moseley) the church is open, Pimp Lucious come on down
she closed the door and then he says
(rufus) "chuck" then chuck says
(chuck) "rufuss" and then they talk at the same time, then rufus says
(rufus) "chuck you go first"
(chuck) "rufuss I've been trying to get in touch with you, blowin' up your phone" then rufuss says
(rufuss) "I had a lot of things to do around the church, chuck tell me whats wrong?"
(chuck) "whats wrong?, whats wrong?, I'll tell you whats wrong, rufuss I've been missin' you" *coughs
(rufuss) "chuck calm down, I miss you too"
(chuck) "how come you haven't called me"
(rufuss) "all because I've been busy"
(chuck) "Oh, that is a lie
(rufuss) "chuck I'm tellin' the truth"
(chuck) "bull sh** rufuss, thats not the real excuse" *crying* "it's her"
(rufuss) "chuck wait a minute"
(chuck) "it's her ain't it"
(rufuss) "chuck listen to me,now you know and I know that Cathy is my wife, I mean you knew that I had another life"
(chuck) "yeah thats true sure I knew and we vowed to keep it between us too, all the hotels and the things we do, how we told each other I love you"
(rufuss) "chuck"
(chuck) "and you told me I was your dream come true
(rufuss) "chuck"
(chuck) "and now you throwing your wife in my face, wasn't sayin sh** whe I was fu**in you
(rufuss) "chuck, not on the phone"
cathy walks in to let rufuss know she's back, rufuss paused for a moment and then says
(rufuss) "chuck I'll call you back" he hangs up and then cathy says
(cathy) "baby who were you talking to?" he didn't know he pushed speaker phone, chuck cries out
(chuck) "rufuss I need you"
(cathy in background) "son of a bitch get your fuckin ass off the phone leave this hoe man alone"
Cathy starts snappin and chuck starts snappin' then rufuss tries to calm em' down cathy took'en the phone and throwen' it around then rufuss says
(rufuss) "cathy go" she says
(cathy) "oh you puttin me out your office all the sh** we just went through Rufuss"
(rufuss) "cathy go back in church, I got this" cathy leaves out rufuss gets right back on the phone and says
(rufuss) "chuck, let me come see you" then chuck screams
(chuck) "no!" then rufuss says
(rufuss) "we gotta talk" chuck says
(chuck) "rufuss don't let me go whoa" he cries, rufuss he ain't feelin' it..
(narrator) but chuck is steady goin' on and crying
(chuck in background) "rufuss I really love you don't let me go"
( narrator) he's coughing,coughing, crusin' screamin' and cryin'
(chuck) "rufuss don't let me go" but rufuss he ain't feeing it
(chuck in background) "rufss please you said we'd be together"
(rufuss) "chuck, this is gonna be hard,"
(chuck) "rufuss"
(Rufuss) "but I love my wife"
(chuck) "rufuss" he says
(rufuss) and I'm a man of god
(chuck) "rufuss" chuck says
(chuck) "i'm not gonna accept that i'm going straight tot the news" then rufuss says
(rufuss) "chuck slow down you don't know what you saying your confused" rufuss says
(rufuss) "let me come see you" chuck says
(chuck) "NO!" rufuss says
rufuss) "why?" *chuck coughs*
(chuck) cuz I'm in a hospital

(CHAPTER 19)

(Reverend Mosely)Pimp Lucious you have been on my heart halelujah thank you Jesus, and I looked at you and got a word from God mmmmm now Pimp Lucious God is tellin' me you don't wanna pimp no more he sayin to me he saying you wanna stop pimpin' aaaahlllll these hoes
(church man) aman
(Rverend Moseley) and turn your life around ha ha
(chrch man) just turn it around Lucious
(reverend Mosely) Now if you want it, God will do it for you, yes he will
(chrchman) Yeah
Reverend Mosely) common chior help me sing it, cummon
(reverend and chior) You can do it Pimp Lucious
(reverend Mosely) just stop pimppin'
(henchman) just stop pimpin'
(reverend)
Lucious
(chior) you can do it Pimp Lucious
(reverend) you can do it, just cut it loose, let it go

(chior) you can do it Pimp Lucious
(reverend) I believe oh I believe. Now you all just come on stage and give Pimp Lucious a hand as he leave the stage, Come on show him some of that gothic, godlin love
Young bishop Graig says
(bishop craig)Pimp Lucious are you seriously about to stop pimpin and give your life to god?
pimp lucious stop dead in his tracks and looked at young bishop craig and said
(pimp lucious) SHH, Sh, Sh Shhh, now just SHHH
then pimp lucious says
(pimp lucious) I, I, I aint eva gone stop p p p p, pimpin' p p p pimpins' the life, I'm just here wid a c c c c cousin, church, church, now the only thing the pimp done caught up in here is the ho--ly ghost. Now cummon bishop craig lets go get this mm mmm money, come on sh**-oops
(reverend) God gone do it for you Pimp lucious you done wait and see, yeah sirm helijuah!helijuah

(Chapter 20)

(narrator) Rosie's in the den sitting in her rocking chair, reading the bible and it's so peeease full until
(randolph) He got the package rosie, he got the package secret sweet britches he done got the package
(rosie) Lord have mercy Randolph...
(randolph) *shivers*
(rosie)...whats done got into you, and who got the package and what is the package
(randolph) the package Rosie, the BIG package

[talking over one another]
(rosie) Oh he** I aint got time...
(randolph) wha
(rosie)to be playing wit you ...
(randolph) what you mean
(rosie)these games carry'en on if I wanted to play some....
(randolph) I wanna talk to ya I wanna tell ya...
(rosie)... games I'd go in there and turn on the tv and watch me some wheel of fortune...

(randolph) how the he** I'm gonna tell ya when you walking away from me hmm, hmm, hmm
well he** wit you den I aint gone tell you nothin'. You must not wanna know--about the paaaastar
(rosie) *gasps* what about the pastor
(randolph) wha, wha wha wha wha wha what, did you hear that, did somebody 'round here say some'em, I thought I heard...
(rosie)now just quit playing and tell me whats goin' on with the paaaa star
(randolph) dare, now you wanna know, tell ya it's way better than peeking out damn windas you be peeking out of *slurps*, aint no pigeon gone sh** on you listen'en to me
(rosie) RANDOLPH!
(randolph) ok, ok, lemme calm down. OOOOOO sir
(rosie) i'm gonna slap you with this hot water bag if you don't start talking to me.
(randolph) alright,alright,alright! I'm ma' talk to ya, and i'm gone tell it all.
(randolph) I was at church in the pastor's office cleanin' up and next thing you know i was
(randolph whispers to fade) I was minding my business cleaning the table...
(randolph sings) ... mmm yes lord, yeees loooord, ye..., *gulp, *gulp,*gulp, *gulp, oooh wew, yeees looord,
what..
(rufus in background) I can't talk to you about that right now sister Marie I got a phone call,
(randolph) sh** think, sh** think, sh** , sh** think randolph hhhm, and thats when I got my old a** in that closet
(rosie) now quit cussin'
(randolph) now jus shut yo' a** up and listen Rosie, you say you want to know then I got in that closet and it all start to happen, the pastor came in and he was on the phone talking to a man.
(rosie) whats wrong with bein' on the phone talking to a man?
(randolph) well that all depends on what you sayin', to that man. Now to mke a long story short, he said
(chuck)rufus I miss you
(randolph) and I couln't believe my ears when he said
(rufus) chuck I miss you too
(randolph) and then his wife comes in starts pitchin a bi***,...
(rosie) I normally don't like bein' in folks business but randolph this is some jucy sh**, what else?
(randolph)anyway they argue 'en back and forth pastor rufus trying to convenience this man to let him come see him, but obviiously he said no
(rosie) what else?
(randolph) now calm down damn it wait a minute lemme think oh! oh! he ask the pastor to stay in his life, but then the pastor said no
(rosie) god must be worken' on him, then what?
(randolph) pastor say chuck, lets meet at our spot the holiday inn
(rosie) and then
(randolph) thats when
(rosie) when what
(randolph) OOOO, took another shot of that gin
(rosie) OOO randolph this is getting good, but what make you say he got the package?
(randolph) when chuck let him know
(rosie) know what
(randolph) that hes in a hos-pit-al
(rosie) *gasps
(randolph) *burps
(rosie) he got the package
(randolph) didn't i tell ya
(rosie) he got the package randolph you were right
(randolph) next time you listen to me when I'm tryingt to tell you a** somethin'
(rosie) oh my god where's my phone book
(randolph) whadda you need a phone book for?,
(rosie) looord have mercy
(randolph) now don't go tellin' eveybody around town rosie,
(rosie) whoa, got the package
(randolph) with your big mouth a**. SH**, shouln't never told her sh**, *gulp, *gulp, OOwef, OOO gin, sleepy. *snoores*

(chapter 21)

(narrator) sylvester goes home to change into something more confortable like... another suit, then he gets back into the car and twan looks atr him and says
(twan) man wheres mine at, sylevester says
(sylevester) wheres your what, twan says
(twan) my suit, sylevester says
(sylevester) nigga what make you think you could fit a suit like this
(twan) man I'm slim
(sylevestr) sh** nigga you be looken' like arnold schwarzenegger in my sh**, just stick to joggin' suits and tens', and lea the suits to me
(twan) yeah whatevea you say bro-n-law
(sylevester) twa